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Saturday, October 14, 2006

the nightmare with the devil was over. it was kinda relieved, however, now i had a mixture of feelings. its not about her anymore, but much more about myself.

this is much more like a mental torture. i duno wad's wrong, but i'm very disappointed with myself. i tried to tell myself i'm blinded by love and that's why i'm committing mistakes cuz of it. however, i shld be in a clear state of mine before i set to do those actions. but why didn't i think about the consequences? those actions that i did was really unpardonable. i'm a hypocrite, i sweared on someone i respected just to make her happy? i'm a disloyal friend, i can easily made a lie to my friends just to be with her?

Toh Jun Hao, is it a girl really so important that u loses your characters and loses the ability to judge right from wrong? although my friends are forgiving, but still i still cant accept the fact abt myself. will these mistakes be repeated again when i met another girl?

quite recent ago, i was complaining about friends dying out.. perhaps it does come with a reason. and the reason is, i'm not that worthy of a friend.